A Schopenhauerian dialogue on the frustraions of a broken heart

In a Nazi concentration camp two Jewish captives sit, huddled together in the freezing winter snow seeming to hang tenaciously to the last remnants of their humanity. Around them are a few hovels and men in Nazi uniforms laughing and eating heartily. Once in a while a Nazi officer walks by wearing a large extravagant fur coat eating a massive turkey leg spilling it all over his shirt and looks right down at the two captives and says “I dare you to eat the crumbs.” The captives don’t move they merely huddle closer together. Upon witnessing this scene it looks almost comical in its horrific juxtaposition of happiness and human depravity; the eyes of any visitor are led directly to the massive painting of the camps leader the man to whom all owe their allegiance a huge 10 foot by 12 foot painting of the fuehrer Hitler.

Jew1: Oh how I miss my dear one.
Jew2: Yes, I know.

Jew2 slyly picks up a few crumbs from the preceding officer and shovels them greedily into his mouth.

Jew2: I think it is time you just realize where we are. We are in a concentration camp and will soon be dead, so be it.
Jew1: I don’t want to die! I want to see my wife, just one more time, I wish for life!
Jew2: Don’t you see there is no life left here; there is only death.
Jew1: OOH but…

Jew1 gets up and begins dancing and singing.

Jew1: OOH but… MYYYY “Heart, my achy breaky heart”

As he begins to sing a knife flies right next to his face and loud boos and calls to SHUT UP come from the Nazi tent next to them. Jew2 seems unperturbed by this sudden outburst and greedily picks up a bug and sticks it into his mouth.

Jew2: So you have a broken heart… Who cares, we’ll all be dead soon anyway, life doesn’t mean a thing.
Jew1: But it does! Don’t you see, as long as we have life there is a chance, ooh my friend there is a chance, we can give into our morbid desires and pass away into the ether or we can fight back! I say we fight.

A loud yell comes from the Nazi tent: “SHUT UP YOU JEW!”

Jew2: Well you won’t have much of a life soon if you don’t stop talking. I say we see if we can get more crumbs from the officers tent. They are too busy masquerading as philosophers to know what’s going on; if you would just be quiet.
Jew1: But we can’t! We might get caught and die and be killed, then what will we do?
Jew2: I have come to view life as a uselessly disturbing episode in the blissful repose of nothingness.
Jew1: What? What on earth does that mean?
Jew2: EXACTLY!
Jew1: You can do whatever you want; I’m staying right here.
Jew2: Suit yourself.

Jew2 cleverly sneaks from one post to another. Whenever an officer walks by the area he simply begins whistling a Richard Wagner tune lightheartedly and pretends to be doing some form of work. The first time he is seen he takes an officers coat and begins to dust it off; another time he grabs a pot of coffee from the Nazi tent and begins filling the cups of the nearby officers. All the while, he is slowly taking crumb after crumb from the tables and floor around the officers and slipping it into his tucked in shirt. Eventually he seems to be attaining a bit of a belly. Soon, he heads back over to Jew1.

Jew2: SEE! Mmmm. You are sitting around accomplishing nothing, while I have attained some food for myself!

Jew1 looks heartily at the food while saying this line

Jew1: how can I think of food when I haven’t seen my wife for 4 months! I miss her so much. What if she’s been forced to find another man? Or what if she’s dead? Or worse?
Jew2: Meh, all my family was killed long ago; what does it matter? Human existence must be some kind of error anyway! Its bad one day, worse the next.
Jew1: I know it seems that way, but I won’t accept that this is the norm of life. I have lived 32 years of life in relative ease and great comfort! I have seen life is benevolent. Ooh woe is me. What is happening to this world?

Jew1 begins sobbing hysterically. Just as he begins sobbing, a rather morose looking young Nazi soldier walks past them and looks down at the two Jews.

Nazi: What are you crying about Jew? Why aren’t you satisfied with what we’ve given you? You are still alive and able to serve men such as us. Quit your blubbering.
Jew2: He is sad because he has lost his love.
Nazi: AAAH. Love. What a terrible mistake is love. Your woman is probably off procreating with some man, I would not worry about that too much, Jew, you have other things to be tending to; life is miserable and we are here to help you through this misery. We will see that you’re life is no longer a waste. Look Jew, I will tell you something. Do you see that woman Jew over there? Why do you not go there and copulate with her? She is as good as any other right?

The three look over at the raggedly ugly woman stumbling into the scene.

Jew1: oh but my lovely is mine. I miss her, how can I imagine being with someone who is not my lovely?
Nazi: She is only your lovely in the past. Not anymore. Love is fleeting and only a result of your will-to-life as father Schopenhauer teaches. It is not up to you who you love. You only claim to love this woman of yours because in your subconscious mind you believe you will breed better Jews from her. Let me tell you, one Jew is as good as another.
Jew1: Oh no sir that isn’t true! I know this might seem strange to you, but we are meant for one another. I just know I will see my darling dearest again. I can see us out on the balcony of our home, which does not exist anymore, just dancing.

Jew1 gets up again and grabs the Nazi officer in a daydream like trance and begins singing and dancing with him.

Jew1: Heaven, I’m in Heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak, and I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we’re out together dancing cheek to cheek.

Once again loud shouts from the tent and a barrage of eaten turkey leg bones, plates, forks, knives come flying towards the three individuals. The Nazi soldier composes himself and pushes jew1 away; trying to play off the fact that he was dancing voluntarily.

Nazi: You are crazy.
Jew2: That’s what I’ve been telling him for months now!
Nazi: Shut up! Your opinion doesn’t matter.
Jew2: I apologize. I am simply agreeing with everything you say. This is a world in which human life must be some kind of mistake; this is sufficiently proved by the simple observation that man is a compound of needs which are hard to satisfy; that their satisfaction achieves nothing but a painless condition in which he is only given over to boredom; and that boredom is a direct proof that existence is in itself valueless, for boredom is nothing other than the sensation of the emptiness of existence.[1]
Nazi: I am glad you have read father Schopenhauer. It is too bad you are only a Jew.
Jew2: yes. It is too bad.
Jew1: Wait! You haven’t helped me with my broken heart at all!
Nazi: As our father would conclude “That our Existence itself implies guilt is proved by the fact of death.”
Jew1: What does that mean? And how does that help my broken heart.
Jew2: OOH. Show him show him good sir!

Nazi systematically takes out his side arm and shoots Jew1 three times in the chest. Jew2 claps and says:

Jew2: yes he is no longer guilty. Good day to you Sir.

Nazi summarily shoots Jew2.

As Nazi holsters his sidearm and walks away Jew1 miraculously stands up and begins singing to his beloved.

Jew1: Night and day, you are the one; Only you beneath the moon or under the sun; Whether near to me, or far it’s no matter darling where you are I think of you day and night.

Once again pots, pans, knives, food, drink, even a stuffed animal comes flying at the Jew, and everyone yells together: SHUT UP!

[1] Schopenhauer, Arthur. On the Vanity of Existence. Essays and Aphorisms. s.l. : Penguin Group.

Epicurus Dilemma Dialogue

An old woman Helena Piraska kneels in a garden, meticulously working the various flowers of a grand garden. She carefully holds a beautiful Acacia Rose flower in one hand, and carefully prunes the petals around it; with the same loving care she pulls out a spray bottle and gently sprays the flower, breathing life into life. At that moment George Boswell comes out of the large estate Helena is working at and walks to his car; grumbling to himself.

George Boswell: Helena! You’re still here, there’s no need; the garden looks fine.
Helena Piraska: Yes sir, I am almost done here.

George walks over to his car and before getting in turns to the old woman.

GB: Helena, may I ask you a question?
HP: What is it?
GB: How are you always so happy, honestly, I do not pay you that well.
HP: You pay me for the job I do, and I thank you for that.
GB: How can you be so happy from the little I give you?
HP: You do not give me anything, I earn it, it is not a gift, but I procure it for my services: I earn it.
GB: Ok. Ok. You earn it, true enough. How can you be so happy to live off of so much?
HP: I get what I need from you.
GB: Why do you keep evading my question?
HP: Honestly, sir, I don’t think you would understand.
GB: I think now I want to be more open to listening, things aren’t going to great.
HP: What has happened?
GB: I just lost an enormous deal that would have put me on the map; I mean really put me above the rest of those hacks. I could have been one of the top 50 richest men in America. But not anymore, who knows what will happen now.
HP: Are you going to lose all of your money?
GB: Good god no! I’ll be fine. I have enough to last the rest of my life in luxury. It just doesn’t seem to be enough. I break down corporations and sell them off piecemeal; but sometimes I feel as if I’m doing it unscrupulously, and I don’t like how I earn my money anymore. Still, I know I want money, I want to have money and I never seemed good at producing anything, only destruction. I feel lost if I can’t be up there with the big boys. So, I guess I’m just curious how someone can live off of the amount that I give them? And, at the same time seem so happy!
HP: it’s easy really. I just don’t have the same values as you do Mr. Boswell.
GB: What do you mean; values? What do you value?
HP: Well, I would prefer working on my relationship with my husband rather than on a huge multi-million dollar deal. That type of value.
GB: Oh, so you enjoy the simple pleasures.
HP: If you wish to call them simple.
GB: What would you call them?
HP: Just about as extravagant as your values sir. I follow a certain philosophy, Epicureanism, or rational hedonism as some might call it.
GB: Now you’re speaking more my language. If you are such a hedonist how can you be content working in a garden for nickels? I’m a hedonist.
HP: Maybe, but are you living rationally is the real question?
GB: I enjoy pleasures, and I understand that they are the first good and that they are natural to us. This is what Epicurus said.
HP: Yes he did, but I think you should finish his statement. “For this very reason we do not choose every pleasure, but sometimes we pass over many pleasures, when greater discomfort accrues to us as the result of them: and similarly we think many pains better than pleasures, since a greater pleasure comes to us when we have endured pains for a long time. Every pleasure then because of its natural kinship to us is good, yet not every pleasure is to be chosen: even as every pain also is an evil, yet not all are always of a nature to be avoided. Yet by a scale of comparison and by the consideration of advantages and disadvantages we must form our judgment on all these matters…”
GB: What does that mean?
HP: Be rational.
GB: ugh, I must have skipped that class-
HP: What?
GB: Nothing! Can you explain that a bit for me please?
HP: Sure, it means that you must rationally choose what pleasures are best suited for you. Not all pleasure is the best, and you also much choose the pains which you need to survive and which are best suited to endure; not all pains are worth having. For example, you are in good shape; would you advocate eating 3 cartons of chocolate ice cream if you wanted to stay in good shape?
GB: Of course not. That would make me sick.
HP: That is a rational choice, and you should avoid those types of extremes. There are certain pains you must endure, for example; the pain it takes when you are working out in order to stay in shape. You, however, would not want to lift weights all day every day, or to try and lift 600 lbs when you know you are only capable of 250.
GB: yes, true.
HP: Well this is what it means to be a true Epicurean. I choose the values which are best suited to enhance my life, which I think are quite universal in many manners.
GB: Such as your husband?
HP: Exactly, I never eat alone. Tonight we are having friends over, I am working hard now so I may get done with work and go to the grocery store to buy a nice bottle of Pinot Noir, this I will gladly share with those who truly understand me in this world; people who do not need to be fooled by fancy clothes or nice cars, but who truly understand who I am and what I mean in this world. That is a value that you cannot buy Mr. Boswell.
GB: I can see the value in that. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had good company over. I think this conversation is the best I’ve had for quite a while. You know, when I started in college I was a bright eyed wannabe philosopher. Now I realize the practical.
HP: Have you received just compensation?
GB: No, I suppose I haven’t. Honestly, I don’t ever feel very happy. There was one time I felt happy.
HP: When was that sir?
GB: My freshman year, I met a grad student who was emphasizing in Aristotle. He told me a little bit about the great organizer, but there was one thing I really wanted to understand more. He showed me the theory of Aristotle’s subsequent metaphysics on the immovable movers. I believed they were supposed to be the giants of industry in today’s terms, but now I realize they are that and much more. I would really like to speak to that grad student again. I think his name was Andrew Ryan. I only met him the one time, but based off of that encounter he showed me what he believed were Aristotle’s intention. I suppose I really didn’t study it enough and took upon myself the wrong premises. All I can remember now is the mere fact that Aristotle could come up with and organize into theory and practice so much that this grad student thousands of years later was going to major in him. I knew there was no way anyone would ever major in me, I couldn’t even understand his very succinct explanation of the immovable mover. How was I to change the ideas of the world? I knew I would never be great enough to achieve such things, but I could go down a line my father did. He was a businessman, so I felt I could be one too.
HP: Why don’t you change your path and continue where you were?
GB: Bah, it’s too late now Helena. I’m a businessman, or I should say I destroy businessmen…
HP: I think, before I go, I will let you in on one of the major acquisitions Epicureans teach, which is thought.
GB: Yes, I’d like to hear about that.
HP: Epicurus was determined to ensure he and his friends would analyze all things involved in their lives; whether concerning death, money, illness etc. He believed firmly that upon rational thought a person would come to the proper conclusions about money. It isn’t bad to have money, it is just important to also have friends in order to experience life with. You can’t experience life with just your money Mr. Boswell.
GB: I know.
HP: Well I hope you will think on this: “The wealth demanded by nature is both limited and easily procured; that demanded by idle imaginings stretches on to infinity.”
GB: I don’t understand.
HP: It will take some thought, Mr. Boswell.
GB: Ok. I will think about what you said and I’ll be back! (To himself) To think, I have my own philosopher in my backyard.
GB (CONT): Oh by the way, take this; I want you to buy a nice bottle of Pinot Noir for you and your friends on me.
HP: I do not accept alms.
GB: It is not alms Helena. It is payment for my first philosophy lesson.

Socratic Dilemma Dialogue

(A script writer sits alone in his home working on his next project his wife enters after a few moments)

Andrew Kauf: Why, can’t I just write what I want?
Morgan Kauf: Hun, what’s the matter?
Andrew: I’m having difficulties with my next script. I’ve never felt like I can write what I want, but this idea I have is good, really good! I know it, but no one would ever buy it.
Morgan: How do you know that?
Andrew: I’ve been in the business for 15 years, I know what they want.
Morgan: What exactly is it they want, and why does it make you so angry?
Andrew: What they want is the same trash I always write. They wish me to write about the bum next door, the wretch, the whore, the man without purpose. They only want me to write about man’s depravity.
Morgan: What is wrong with exploring such things? Don’t people need to see what is wrong with men? Isn’t it the best way for them to learn, to understand, to appreciate?
Andrew: Maybe for other writers, if that is what they wish, maybe someone even is helped by it; although I doubt it. I just don’t know if I can write about another bum. How will people remember me?
Morgan: You are correct in your assumption there, they will remember you from the one thing you have been able to do. But, my question to you my dear is why you are worried about how people will remember you?
Andrew: Isn’t that what the value of life is? How else should I live my life?
Morgan: What is life, Andrew?
Andrew: What kind of question is that? I am life.
Morgan: Just a thought experiment Andrew… Let me ask you, if you are life, does that mean I am not life?
Andrew: Well of course you are life as well. But, I am alive so I am life.
Morgan: You are running circles around me in this experiment, it seems. Let me try again. Is a plant alive? Is a bird? A rock? What is life?
Andrew: Ok, well these questions seem a little weird, but I’ll humor you. Of course plants are alive, birds, but not rocks! Life is all that which is alive.
Morgan: If life is that which is alive, are cells and atoms alive? What about the rocks? They are made up of matter, which could seem alive, could they not?
Andrew: Well yes, but I think this is self evident darling.
Morgan: If it is self-evident then it shouldn’t be hard to explain, correct? So, my questioning returns to what is life? You see honey, if we can determine what is life, we perhaps can determine the purpose of life, and if you are leading the correct purpose.
Andrew: Alright fair enough, I’ll play along. Life consists of all living creatures, plants and animals alike, which are able to be a part of this existence past, present and future. Life could probably be best described by things which can procreate, for it is the continuation of a life which is necessary for life.
Morgan: Wow, that is really good Andrew. So, if we say life consists of all living creatures, plants and animals alike, and that life is determined by the ability to procreate, then we can determine that all living creatures have many things in common, correct?
Andrew: That is correct.
Morgan: Great, now we’re getting somewhere. What then determines human life, how are we different then a muskrat?
Andrew: Ok, I know this one. We are different because we have languages, arts, mathematics, philosophy and more.
Morgan: This is true, but what is it that allows human beings to have developed a Socrates and a Victor Hugo?
Andrew: Their mind.
Morgan: That makes the most sense. They have a conscious mind and are able to use it more aptly then do animals.
Andrew: correct.
Morgan: Then what exactly is it that we have that is so different? I think we should specify this difference.
Andrew: Our ability to reason?
Morgan: precisely, but again what exactly does our ability to reason allow us to do?
Andrew: Understand the world we live in?
Morgan: I think you’re right there; I would go farther in that it allows us to form concepts, and more importantly broad abstractions, such as life.
Andrew: How can this help me determine how to best live life?
Morgan: That is a spectacular question! Now that we better understand what life is, we need to begin to question the purpose of life.
Andrew: Good.
Morgan: if life is being alive, and procreating, can we not say that being alive requires a certain flourishing of life?
Andrew: You mean it isn’t enough to survive, but we must also attempt to live the best and most prosperous life possible?
Morgan: Correct. Think of a tree and its roots. A tree has certain goals based upon its nature. As the good Hursthouse writes in On Virtue of Ethics that “a living things nature will dictate what is good for it by pointing us to its needs, [and] what living things do is live, and a good living thing is one that lives well. For humans, certain traits are virtuous because of facts about human needs, interests and desires, just as certain traits make for a good elephant because of facts about elephants needs, interests, and desires.” So the good and the purpose should be determined by what is good for the organism. So we should therefore strive for an enjoyable life and a morally upright life, as this is part of our nature. For what is good for us is to be morally upright. Also, it is good to enjoy the life we have, for these pertain to our goals of flourishing; for I dare say that humans seek to enhance their lives.
Andrew: In other words I should live the life best suited to my goals?
Morgan: Precisely.
Andrew: Then, I should write this screenplay if my goals in life are simply to attain money?
Morgan: Precisely, but I know you won’t because I didn’t fall for a person who stands for nothing.
Andrew: I guess you’re right. It’s not easy standing by what you believe I guess.
Morgan: Nor is it supposed to be.